Misery Meet Your Match

My world has effectively been turned upside down in a matter of weeks. The morning sickness I'm having has turned me from an efficient, involved mom into a sniveling, cowering ball of misery. I miss my husband, who, through no fault of his own, is having to be out of town the majority of the time right now. I hate the fact that my house looks like something out of law and order. And I despise the fact that my son has to sit outside the bathroom door calling "Ma Ma?" over and over because he doesn't understand what's going on. Despite all this, and despite my repeated gagging and coughing, there is one thing that can stop all of it in an instant. When my son needs something. When he really needs something, my mind completely turns around. This evening for instance. Alex had been in the bed asleep for about an hour when out of the blue he suddenly started screaming. Regardless of the fact that I was curled on the couch feeling sorry for myself and desperately trying to keep down the dinner I ate half an hour before, I was up like a shot and into his room, nausea completely forgotten. In a matter of moments I had him in my arms and calmed down, saved from his bad dream or whatever else may have been bothering him. And as I stood there, swaying slowly from side to side and humming that random mix of lullabies that every mom knows even though she never quite learned all the words, I finally understood something. This time next year, I'll have two little angels who need me. I'll have my husband back in my arms, my house will either be presentable or I'll simply have learned to accept the inevitable.

I laid my cheek against my son's soft hair and realized that all of a sudden, I feel just fine.